I’m about to be completely transparent in this post. If I’m being honest, what I’m about to write about isn’t something I talk about to other people, mostly because the majority of people I hang out with are already married and have families, and while I’m perfectly fine hanging out with them, it doesn’t exactly give me an outlet to talk about being a single girl in her 30s.
Ever since I turned 30, a lot of “concerned” people have been asking me about my relationship status, which if you’ve read my previous post about me being single, you should have a pretty good idea of what my answer always is and continues to be, and why, but nonetheless, I still get asked questions about when I’m going to get married and why am I still single.
My answer is usually to kind of brush it off and say something to the effect like, “You’ll have to ask God about that.” I’m usually quick to brush those questions off because of the negative comments from said “concerned” people in the past, but I feel like why I’m still single is more of a practical or common sense answer more than anything.
First, I’m an elementary teacher. I work in a field that is dominated by women. Not to say that I don’t encounter men in my line of work. I do encounter men in my profession, but most of them are already married, and since I work in public school, not all of the single men I meet via my job have the same beliefs or values I have, and that’s something that’s not negotiable for me.
Second, because I am older and no longer in my early or mid 20s, most of the men in their 30s or late 20s are already married and have their own families. Also, because I have been told many times that I look much younger than I am, when I do encounter a single man around or my age, they usually overlook me because they think I’m younger, and not to say that there aren’t any mature younger guys out there, but my experience with them is that they’re looking for someone to take care of them, like I’m their mom or something, and that is NOT going to happen!
Again, I’m going to be completely honest and transparent when I say that being a single girl in her 30s is not easy. There have been times when I’ve questioned God about if He really does have someone out there for me, and if you read my previous post about being single, you know that I get some negative comments said about me sometimes because I’m still single, and how there must be something wrong with me or something I’m doing wrong to be single for so long in life.
While it’s not easy to be a single girl, what those “concerned” people fail to realize is that their view of singleness is like having a horrible disease and the only way to cure it is to get married. However, I view being single differently. I view being single as a time for God to help me prepare to be the best person and wife to my future husband one day, and while it is hard to be a single girl, I refuse to lower my standards (that are based on the Bible, by the way) and go out on a date with the first guy that comes along.
Just because I’m still single in my 30s does not mean that I’m desperate to find a husband. I’m waiting for God’s absolute best for me, and while I don’t currently work in a place where I could potentially find my future husband or go to a church with an abundance of single men in their 30s who don’t think I’m in high school or a sophomore in college (apparently that’s the age I look), that doesn’t mean I’m not ever going to meet the man God has for me one day.
Did I ever think I was going to still be single at almost 31 years of age? No. I thought for sure I would be married with at least 3 kids by now, but God doesn’t always work on our timetable, and while I would be thrilled if I met my future husband tomorrow, I know that God may not think that’s the best idea, and He may want me to wait some more, and while I’m not a huge fan of waiting, I’m choosing to show my love and obedience to God by respecting this waiting period, and I’m also choosing to respect myself, because I know that there are a lot of loser guys out there (I’ve encountered them more than once in my lifetime), and I know that if I want an amazing marriage that will last a lifetime, then I’m going to have to trust God to bring the best man possible for me when the time is right.